In our increasingly globalized world, meeting people
from different cultures, whether in school, at work, or even in our daily
lives, is very common and even unavoidable most of the time, especially in
multicultural societies such as Singapore. Thus, having good intercultural
communication skills, or being cross-culturally competent, has never been more
important.
At first glance, communicating successfully with
others may seem easy and perhaps even ‘commonsensical’; be tactful and do not say
unpleasant things when speaking to others, and thereafter return the favour by
listening attentively when others speak. But as always many things are easier
said than done. It really takes practice to master the art of communicating
well with people from different cultural backgrounds, and who may have
different beliefs and practices from you. Moreover, communication is not just
about speaking but also the non-verbals too, such as gestures and eating
etiquette. Thus, no matter how much we know about a certain culture which we do
not practise, there will always be certain things which we are unaware of. As a
result, intercultural conflicts may arise no matter how well-intentioned our
actions and thoughts were. Say for instance you have a colleague from Thailand
and you would like to encourage him for doing a good job with a thumbs-up,
chances are you will be greeted with an angry face instead of a word of thanks.
Hence, whenever in doubt, always read up about the culture of a person whom you’ll
be meeting, or perhaps even ask him/her how they usually do certain things such
as greeting someone or eye contact, bearing in mind your own cultural values
and practices. Avoiding gestures if you are unsure what it may mean to someone
from another culture could also be another possible way to avoid intercultural
conflicts.
I have a neighbour, a housewife in her
60s, whom I chat with quite often. Recently, she has been telling me about a
new domestic helper, named Amina, whom her daughter hired 3 months ago to help
her mother with housework. Initially, I had thought that having a helper would be a
relief for her as she would be less tired after doing housework. But just last
Monday, my neighbour told me that she had transferred Amina to another employer.
This did not come as a surprise to me, because from what I heard from her over
the past three months, she was not at all happy with Amina’s performance, and
in my opinion, an intercultural misunderstanding and conflict between them, as
well as a lack of communication led to the strained relationship and eventually
the end of their employer-employee relationship. In view of this incident, I shall
highlight three intercultural differences which possibly caused or contributed to the
conflict between them.
A little bit of background: Amina is an
Indonesian who is a Christian, while my neighbour is a Chinese Singaporean who
is a Buddhist.
Firstly, based on what my neighbour told me and my
observations, I realized that both of them had very different working styles,
possibly due to their different cultures. I could roughly understand my
neighbour’s character as it was similar to my father’s. They both had a
traditional mindset and expect things to be done well yet promptly. My neighbour
was quite particular and had strict expectations of Amina’s work and she
expects her to take the initiative to ask questions so that she could learn new
things and how my neighbor prefers things to be done at her house. In my
opinion, from my neighbour’s perspective, taking the initiative to ask
questions is a sign of responsibility and respect as it shows that one cares
enough for his/her work to want to ensure that it is done well. However, Amina
rarely spoke to my neighbour and usually did her work quietly and using her own
method, probably due to the language barrier between them. (Amina was not very
fluent in English and there was no common language that they could communicate
well with) Another problem which this language barrier caused between them was
a miscommunication of instructions from my neighbor to Amina. For instance,
there was once when my neighbour told her to cook half a packet of vegetables
and keep the other half in the fridge. However, Amina ended up cooking the
whole packet of vegetables which upset my neighbour. As seen from these
incidents, language barrier is one of the cultural differences which led to the
intercultural conflict between my neighbour and Amina.
Secondly, Amina was a rather selective eater
and does not eat some of the food which my neighbour’s family is used to
eating, such as dishes that contained coconut milk and food that has been
placed at the altar in my neighbour’s house as an offering. This upset my neighbour
too as being a traditional person, being picky when eating without a valid
reason is not acceptable. It also made it harder for my neighbour to prepare
food for her. From
Amina’s point of view, she was probably not used to the kind of food or the
ingredients used, which highlights yet another cultural difference in terms of food
preferences.
Lastly, Amina would also do chores halfway or
took a very long time to complete a task. Looking from Amina’s point of view, the
reason why she took a long time to do her job could be because she wanted to do
it thoroughly and well, something which I can identify with as it happens to me
at times. But my neighbour felt otherwise and expected Amina to complete tasks within
a reasonable time. In this instance, the intercultural difference could be different
work cultures and attitudes, which in turn could be influenced by one’s cultural
identity.
Of course, there could be other reasons on top
of these intercultural conflicts which have led my neighbour to make the decision in
sending Amina back. However, in my opinion, had my neighbour discussed with Amina
her expectations of her and set some ground rules when she first started work,
the conflict between them could have been avoided or at least mitigated. Also,
if both parties had put in more effort in getting to know each other better,
things may not have been so tense between them. From this incident, we can see
the importance of communication and understanding cultural differences of
others, especially those whom we wil interact often with, which both have a very huge impact on the quality of relationships we
have them.
