Intercultural conflicts in an intercultural world.

In our increasingly globalized world, meeting people from different cultures, whether in school, at work, or even in our daily lives, is very common and even unavoidable most of the time, especially in multicultural societies such as Singapore. Thus, having good intercultural communication skills, or being cross-culturally competent, has never been more important.

At first glance, communicating successfully with others may seem easy and perhaps even ‘commonsensical’; be tactful and do not say unpleasant things when speaking to others, and thereafter return the favour by listening attentively when others speak. But as always many things are easier said than done. It really takes practice to master the art of communicating well with people from different cultural backgrounds, and who may have different beliefs and practices from you. Moreover, communication is not just about speaking but also the non-verbals too, such as gestures and eating etiquette. Thus, no matter how much we know about a certain culture which we do not practise, there will always be certain things which we are unaware of. As a result, intercultural conflicts may arise no matter how well-intentioned our actions and thoughts were. Say for instance you have a colleague from Thailand and you would like to encourage him for doing a good job with a thumbs-up, chances are you will be greeted with an angry face instead of a word of thanks. Hence, whenever in doubt, always read up about the culture of a person whom you’ll be meeting, or perhaps even ask him/her how they usually do certain things such as greeting someone or eye contact, bearing in mind your own cultural values and practices. Avoiding gestures if you are unsure what it may mean to someone from another culture could also be another possible way to avoid intercultural conflicts.

I have a neighbour, a housewife in her 60s, whom I chat with quite often. Recently, she has been telling me about a new domestic helper, named Amina, whom her daughter hired 3 months ago to help her mother with housework. Initially, I had thought that having a helper would be a relief for her as she would be less tired after doing housework. But just last Monday, my neighbour told me that she had transferred Amina to another employer. This did not come as a surprise to me, because from what I heard from her over the past three months, she was not at all happy with Amina’s performance, and in my opinion, an intercultural misunderstanding and conflict between them, as well as a lack of communication led to the strained relationship and eventually the end of their employer-employee relationship. In view of this incident, I shall highlight three intercultural differences which possibly caused or contributed to the conflict between them.

A little bit of background: Amina is an Indonesian who is a Christian, while my neighbour is a Chinese Singaporean who is a Buddhist.

Firstly, based on what my neighbour told me and my observations, I realized that both of them had very different working styles, possibly due to their different cultures. I could roughly understand my neighbour’s character as it was similar to my father’s. They both had a traditional mindset and expect things to be done well yet promptly. My neighbour was quite particular and had strict expectations of Amina’s work and she expects her to take the initiative to ask questions so that she could learn new things and how my neighbor prefers things to be done at her house. In my opinion, from my neighbour’s perspective, taking the initiative to ask questions is a sign of responsibility and respect as it shows that one cares enough for his/her work to want to ensure that it is done well. However, Amina rarely spoke to my neighbour and usually did her work quietly and using her own method, probably due to the language barrier between them. (Amina was not very fluent in English and there was no common language that they could communicate well with) Another problem which this language barrier caused between them was a miscommunication of instructions from my neighbor to Amina. For instance, there was once when my neighbour told her to cook half a packet of vegetables and keep the other half in the fridge. However, Amina ended up cooking the whole packet of vegetables which upset my neighbour. As seen from these incidents, language barrier is one of the cultural differences which led to the intercultural conflict between my neighbour and Amina.

Secondly, Amina was a rather selective eater and does not eat some of the food which my neighbour’s family is used to eating, such as dishes that contained coconut milk and food that has been placed at the altar in my neighbour’s house as an offering. This upset my neighbour too as being a traditional person, being picky when eating without a valid reason is not acceptable. It also made it harder for my neighbour to prepare food for her. From Amina’s point of view, she was probably not used to the kind of food or the ingredients used, which highlights yet another cultural difference in terms of food preferences.

Lastly, Amina would also do chores halfway or took a very long time to complete a task. Looking from Amina’s point of view, the reason why she took a long time to do her job could be because she wanted to do it thoroughly and well, something which I can identify with as it happens to me at times. But my neighbour felt otherwise and expected Amina to complete tasks within a reasonable time. In this instance, the intercultural difference could be different work cultures and attitudes, which in turn could be influenced by one’s cultural identity. 

Of course, there could be other reasons on top of these intercultural conflicts which have led my neighbour to make the decision in sending Amina back. However, in my opinion, had my neighbour discussed with Amina her expectations of her and set some ground rules when she first started work, the conflict between them could have been avoided or at least mitigated. Also, if both parties had put in more effort in getting to know each other better, things may not have been so tense between them. From this incident, we can see the importance of communication and understanding cultural differences of others, especially those whom we wil interact often with, which both have a very huge impact on the quality of relationships we have them.